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So, last week  I did a newsletter on the importance of self -care. I got a ton of emails from folks who wanted me to expound on this idea by giving some tips on how to demonstrate love for self. I’m happy to. Thanks for the requests. ;0)

A lot of us start to slack on self-care and self-love at times when we probably need it most. Like after a break-up. Finding ourselves suddenly single, we stop doing things like cooking a lovely nutritious meal – thinking it’s a waste of time to go through all the trouble and effort for just little ‘ol me. Think again. You are not a waste of time! You deserve the best.

Another situation that makes people stop taking care of themselves properly is during unemployment. The logic seems to be that without a job to go to and no one to impress why bother showering. But trust me, being an unkempt shut-in is just not a good idea.

Others, are simply deficient in the self-care area because quite frankly they just were not shown much love and care during childhood. But that’s all the more reason to begin right away to make up for that lack of loving, for your self, right now. Be your own best, most doting, kindest sweetest mother ever.  This is exactly what I had to do. It was only when I became my own mother (making up for the mother I never had) that I understood what it was like to be loved and cared for. And it was only once I fully loved myself, that I could truly express pure authentic, unconditional love to another. I finally felt and knew love. Before, I just was monkeying cliché ideas of what I thought love was. Because, remember, we cannot give what we don’t have.

1. Always make a lovely bed for yourself. Imagine that you’re staying at a five-star hotel. Isn’t it awesome to have beautiful sheets and comforters, tucked and folded so perfectly? Makes you feel so special, like a queen, yeah?  If you need new sheets, buy them; you’re worth it. Don’t need to spend a fortune; it’s about the feeling. Feeling cared for. Treat yourself like that special guest. If you go all out for a guest, why not for yourself?
2. Take the time to cook yourself wonderful meals. If you’d go through all the preparation for a spouse, date, child or lover, why not for yourself. Doesn’t take any more time or money. You are the most special person in your life. No, really! Go all the way, set a nice table and everything.  Treat yourself like the best date ever.
3. Buy yourself flowers. Flowers are visually pleasing, cheery and make us feel special. Buy one big bouquet, from the farmer’s market perhaps, and then split it up into many vases for every room of your house.
4. When you do laundry, take the time to really fold your clothes neatly. It’s about taking the time and effort to do everything with the energy of love and care. Anything done/made with love makes us feel loved.
5. When you bathe or shower, take your time to actually enjoy the experience of washing your body, versus just rushing through as if it was a chore. Bathing is an appreciation, perhaps even a meditation, of this wonderful body of yours. Use nice soap, body wash, shampoo. Enjoy the smells, warmth, comfort, cleansing. Caress your skin like a baby versus like scrubbing the dishes. Be good and gentle to yourself. Make each shower like a spa experience.
6. Speak to yourself with kind words. Look in the mirror every morning and evening and really look at yourself. Recognize and appreciate your unique beauty. Tell yourself how hot you are, how wonderful you are, how smart you are. Praise yourself for all the stuff you’ve accomplished. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made. When not in front of the mirror, keep your inner dialog kind, loving and encouraging. Refuse to berate and beat yourself up over stuff.  Speak to yourself like a gentle mother, cheerleader, best friend, life coach.
7. Do not let yourself indulge in destructive habits. Again, like a mother, you only want the best for yourself, so you kindly discipline yourself because you love yourself. True friends don’t let friends destroy their lives with drinking, drugging and smoking etc. And talking of friends, surround yourself with positive, healthy friends who love and encourage you and who take good care of themselves.
8. Always keep yourself looking and feeling good. Don’t make do with old ratty clothes, or an unkempt hairdo, as this will make you feel poor and unworthy.  Again, it doesn’t cost a fortune to stay fresh. Just as you’d buy a whole new back to school wardrobe for your kid, do so for yourself! Love yourself, treat yourself well. You deserve it.
9. Treat yourself to a massage. Massages release tension and feel good. There are massages for all budgets. Trade massages with a friend/partner. Heck, give yourself a massage. Foam rollers rock!
10. Encourage and invest in your dreams. Like the most supportive mother, do whatever it takes to help you achieve your aspirations. If you want to become a photographer, buy a camera, take a class, go out shooting, print and frame stuff. Be your own biggest fan.

When you love, believe and invest in yourself, you really can fly! Love lifts, fear sinks. So let love lift you higher. In love we evolve.